fortitude with grace

I am Happy.

Genuinely.

Really happy.

There have been quite a few bumps in my road lately, a few small ones and one or two big ones. I've tried to stay positive and strong as I gained my balance. Sometimes it is just tough. Life is difficult, I've said it before, and there are times when it seems nearly impossible. I certainly have my moments where I think it is. But amidst the seemingly impossible I have hope.

Hope.

And Faith.

And Love.

The three greatest things there is. I'm doing just fine. I'm actually doing great. To be honest I am surprising myself. I am proud to be where I am. A strong, very strong, young woman displaying fortitude with grace. It would be easy to get angry, curse the world, and pity the recent events... why waste any time or energy on that? Instead I'm opening my heart to new possibilities. Building new and stronger relationships. Smiling. Laughing. Enjoying myself. Relishing the company of others. Life is difficult, but it is magical too. My spirit is free and my soul is shining bright.

I must say... it feels pretty good.

Forgiveness

A few weeks ago I wrote about a woman who came in, raised hell, and threatened to stab me in the heart with a knife. Today she came back, asked to speak with me, and then asked if I remembered who she was (I did). As I was standing there I thought, OK, she is either going to whip out a gun and shoot me, or she is hear for round 2 of screaming my head off. To my surprise she asked if I remembered the events of her previous visit (of course, how could I forget) and then she offered an apology, admittedly sincere. I was shocked.

This may seem like a small act, but in my line of work this NEVER happens. It got me thinking, how often to do we admit we are wrong? It takes a person of strong character to swallow their pride and admit to have been wrong, apologize for our actions, and ask for forgiveness. Do we do this enough? And for those on the receiving end such as I was, do we forgive enough? I think too often in life we get caught up in the notion of having to be right. Humans are selfish by nature, and often we push our ideas, our thoughts, and our wants off on others. Let's take a step back and let others into our equation of life. Let's try to be a little bit less self-serving and consider the feelings, attitudes, opinions, wants, and desires of those around us. We aren't perfect, but admitting our imperfections is the first step towards it. Forgiving those around you, recognizing their imperfections, now that's the second step. I really believe that if we all try to do these two things a little bit more, the world could be a much better and happier place.

Tuesday's With Morrie

- "Have I told you about the tension of opposites?" [Morrie] says. - The tension of opposites? - "Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do something else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted. - "A tension of opposites, like a pull on a rubber band. And most of us live somewhere in the middle." Sounds like a wrestling match, I say. - "A wrestling match." He laughs. "Yes, you could describe life that way. - So which side wins, I ask? - "Which side wins?" - He smiles at me, the crinkled eye, the crooked teeth. - "Love wins. Love always wins."

Freedom

This weekend I took my first ride on the back of a motorcycle... a Harley. Let me tell you, this brings a whole new meaning to the work Freedom. It was pretty exhilarating, minus the whole watching my life flash before my eyes every 2 seconds part. After a few minutes I relaxed and enjoyed the cool afternoon breeze. There is something oddly relaxing about riding a bike. I think I'd like to do it again, although next time, I'd prefer to avoid the freeway... way too scary!!!

Faith. Hope. Love.

Sometimes all you can do is smile in awe of the way life has a way of sorting itself out. One minute you think your world is falling apart around you, the next minute, by the grace of God you've been granted a few precious moments of serenity. Life is difficult, no one ever said it was supposed to be easy. It is the difficult moments that define us, for we are given a choice. We can pity our lives, our situations, the ill constructed foundations of relationships that have fallen apart, financial troubles, whatever it is that is wrecking havoc on our sanity at the moment... or we can rise to the occasion, stand strong, hope, love, and believe that these crossroads are merely building blocks for our future. There is something truly wonderful about faith, true faith, knowing that in the midst of a world crumbling around you, God's grace will pull you out. Believe deep in your heart in that, and you will be amazed at the new angels and new possibilities that will enter your life. Life is an adventure that has plenty of lows, but belief that you'll reach newer and better highs (quite possibly sooner than you ever imagined possible) is more than enough to set your spirit free.

All you have to do, is... BELIEVE.

There are a few special individuals who have reminded me of this over the last few weeks, to them I would like to say thank you. The friendship that they have displayed, the loyalty, unconditional love and support moves me beyond words. I believe friendships like these are extremely rare and hard to come by, and I'm blessed enough to have quite a few of these people in my life. Makes me feel pretty good. To the new friends who have emerged during the recent months, the ones I've known for years, and my family (especially my sweet sweet mama)... thank you, for reminding me to believe. Somewhere along the way I lost sight of that, but I'm back on track :)