things not to say in an interview

McDonald's Corporation comes up with the best ideas sometimes, I mean really, the people in corporate are so smart and have such a sense of reality of what day-to-day operations entail. (I hope you are sensing some sarcasm).

This week marked National Hiring to Win Day. Corporate advertised heavily, there were newspaper ads, radio ads, merchandising displays in the store, fliers, and some genius even decided to go on Fox News and proclaim that all employees working over 20 hours qualified for full benefits. You've got to be kidding me!

Tuesday was one hell of a day. 7 stores... over 1000 interviews conducted. It was absolute madness. I was in charge of the execution at Florin Rd since the Store Manager was out on vacation. Over 300 people applied online in the 8 days leading up to Hiring Day. I had a plan (quickly browse person's application online, ask a few questions, make assessment)... it flew out the window immediately. Interviews were scheduled between 1-3 and I was expecting maybe 50 people. Over 200 came, half of them were lining up at 11 am. Some people started waiting at 8 am. By 12:30 there was standing room only in the entire store (including playland), I'd called in the troops to help with the interviews as clearly there was NO WAY I could do all those by myself. Mom and Dad even joined in on the fun after driving by and seeing a MASS of bodies across the store. I interviewed for 4 hours straight until I had to leave to go to class, the things I heard, you wouldn't believe, so I am recounting as many as I can remember here...

Round TWO was today as we had to conduct second round interviews for all the candidates we passed from the first interview across the company. Today was MUCH more organized and we managed to narrow down the field even more. Planning all the orientations and training is going to be an absolute fiasco as the stores are not able to handle training on that kind of scale (most stores hired 12+ people).... thank goodness I am going out of state next week :)

Here are a few of my favorite answers to my interview questions:

1. Q: What do you think will be the most difficult thing about working for McDonalds?
A: Getting to work on time.

2. Q:How would you hand a situation where a customer was angry or upset?
A: I don't know, I guess I wouldn't say F*** You.

3. Q: Can you tell me about your previous job experience?
A: Working under the table.

4. Q: What is your availability?
A: I'm cute.

5. Q: what is your previous job experience?
A: Well I done did McDicks 100 years ago.

6. Q: What is your availability?
A: I want to work, I like to touch things with my hands.

7. Q: I am conducting a lot of interviews today, why should I hire you over my other candidates?
A: I won't bring the flies.


8. Q: I am conducting a lot of interviews today, why should I hire you over my other candidates?
A (candidate is hideously ugly and smells): I am a good looking guy and I'll bring the money, people will come just to see me, and when they see me they will hang around to keep seeing me, and when they hang around then they buy stuff, so basically you hire me to put money in your pocket.

9. going on a 25 minute rant about the Mormon church, your LONG stint with drugs and drug rehab, your time as an escort, and give me your complete family background including jobs and children.

10. have repulsively bad breath and body odor.

11. wait until the interview is over to give me your resume... that might have been helpful DURING the interviewa