customer complaint gone wrong

It's safe to say you just can't please everyone in our business. No matter what you do to try and "make it right" sometimes it just isn't good enough. I have seen and heard more ridiculous customer complaints than I can even begin to tell. This reaction by this customer tops them all. I am trying to figure out how to get it on YouTube (you've just GOT to hear the actual voice to believe it), if anyone knows how, let me know!

For now a transcription of his phone call will have to do.

This customer (affectionately known as Doug) was unsatisfied with his experience at one of our stores. He called the 1-800 line who contacted me and I passed along his information and complaint to the proper people (happens to be my brother). Zack contacts this customer, gives him a free meal and an apology. Well Doug is mad because Zack called his work number to talk to him.... apparently Doug FORGOT he GAVE us that number to reach him at. How else would we have found it? He was not happy about us calling his work number so he called the 1-800 number AGAIN to complain stating that how dare we contact him at work? (well sir, for starters leave a different contact number!) Zack calls again to explain to the customer that he gave us this number and it was the only way to reach him, again apologizes and tries to make it right. Doug is not happy, now we have called twice! (again, I say, LEAVE A DIFFERENT CONTACT NUMBER, seems easy enough right?)....

So Doug and Zack have some phone tag regarding the calling of the work issue and finally Doug leaves this message on the restaurants answering machine: (parental advisory, please pardon the profanity, this is not suitable for children under the age of 18... or anyone for that matter)


" this here's Dougie and I'm just calling to let you know that I'm gonna hide in the bushes outside your house, or I might hide in the bushes outside your job, or i might be hiding in the bushes at the fucking McDonalds. But I'm gonna be hiding in the bushes somewhere. And I'm gonna catch you by yourself and I'm gonna be butt ass naked with a chicken mask on, and I'm gonna jump on your ass and i guarantee I get a little bit of that ass before you be able to beat me off of you. Ohhhh I've been waiting for this for a long time. You've been teasing me, ohh you've been fucking teasing me, oh the teasing is over bitch, when I see you, that ass is mine baby..... I'm gonna get that ass."


and THAT people is what we deal with on a daily basis... America's finest. All that over some French Fry's??? People are certifiably crazy!

Now there are a few interesting things going on here:
1) where do you even get a chicken mask at?
2) hiding in the bushes naked, well sir, thats called indecent exposure and is illegal.
3) the fact that you left YOUR NAME on the voicemail proves you're ignorant, indignant, and just plain retarded
4) did I mention that everything you said you were going to do is just illegal, and now if you even try anything we've got proof it was premeditated... and thus a felony?

Congratulations, you sir are an idiot!

Yo Gano!